


Why, Why, WHY, Tony?

by MagicaDraconia16



Series: 2021 Bingos [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bar/Restaurant, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Gen, Karaoke, M/M, Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV, Trope Bingo Round 16, TropesAndFandoms21, WinterIron Month 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 03:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaDraconia16/pseuds/MagicaDraconia16
Summary: On nights when Bucky doesn't go out with his friends, the text that he usually gets at stupid o'clock in the morning is usually about Steve. So rushing to the rescue isn't odd.Rushing to rescue his friends from hisboyfriend, however, is.If Bucky had known what was waiting for him, he would have stayed at home.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark
Series: 2021 Bingos [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119095
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV, Trope Bingo: Round Sixteen, Tropes and Fandoms 2021, WinterIron Month 2021





	Why, Why, WHY, Tony?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for:  
>  **Tropes And Fandoms 21:** _regular square - Bar/Restaurant AU_  
>  **Trope Bingo Round 16:** _N3 - free square - Established Relationship_  
>  **Tony Stark Bingo:** _A4 - Karaoke Battle_  
>  and **WinterIron Month 2021:** _SFW Wednesday: Trope/AU_ \- Avalon Protocol; _SFW Wednesday: Word_ \- Karaoke; _SFW Wednesday: Dialogue/Sentence_ \- "People are staring." 
> 
> Card Number: 4019  
> Square Filled: A4 - Karaoke Battle  
> Ship/Main Pairing: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: AU - College/University, AU - no powers, bar/restaurant, drunken shenanigans, karaoke  
> Summary: As above

When Bucky Barnes received a text at 2:33am, he was expecting it to be about Steve. Steve Rogers had never met a fight he didn’t want to get involved with; get him even the _slightest_ bit tipsy and you had more chance to teaching a rock to talk than getting him to walk away. More than once, when he hadn’t been able to go out with his friends, he’d received a text at stupid-o’clock in the morning to come bail his best friend out of trouble.

So he was more than a bit surprised to squint blearily at the screen and realise that, this time, the text had come _from_ Steve.

_“Your boyfriend is about to start a round of karaoke. This bar doesn’t DO karaoke! Jim put his head on the table and pretended to pass out. … Or maybe he actually DID pass out, it’s kinda hard to tell. Anyway, you’d better come rescue us from your boyfriend.”_

Well, that made a change.

It took Bucky three quarters of an hour and four wrong bars – apparently Steve was drunker than he seemed, as he’d already forgotten the name of the bar they were _actually_ in and didn’t seem to understand Bucky’s commands to _“Go outside and bloody **look** , Steve!”_ – before he finally managed to locate his friends.

Or some of them, anyway.

Sam Wilson was sitting propped up in the corner of a booth table, his eyes wandering all over the room but not focusing on anything. James Rhodes had his head resting on the table in front of him, his eyes closed and breathing steadily. Unfortunately, though, Bucky was well acquainted with Rhodes’ tendency to snore when he was _really_ unconscious, so the fact that he was as quiet as he was being now was a dead giveaway that he hadn’t actually passed out at all and was just shamming it. Steve was in a chair opposite Sam and swaying gently. He was avidly watching something over near the bar itself, and abruptly burst into enthusiastic applause.

He was the only one.

“My, my, _MYYY-YYYYY-YYYYY_ ,” a voice yodelled, and everyone in the surrounding area – including Bucky – winced in unison. Even Rhodes cringed.

Bucky scowled down at the man and poked him roughly in the shoulder. Rhodes gave a small snort and rocked as though still deeply asleep, but another high-pitched attempt at a song that sounded like a cat with its tail trodden on caused him to wince again.

“Give it up, Rhodes,” Bucky advised. “I know you’re faking. Where the hell is Tony? Did you lose him?”

“ _And so, before they come to break down the door, forgive me, Delilah, I just couldn’t take anymo_ —BUCKY!” The warbling was interrupted by the owner of the voice spotting Bucky and lunging forward to fling their arms around his neck.

Bucky choked, as the arms attempted to strangle him in their enthusiasm. He patted wildly at the arm, trying to signal that he needed air.

“Dandelion, why won’t you sing with me?” The arms slithered away from Bucky, leaving him slumped against the table and gasping for breath. The body the arms were attached to turned out to be Tony, who’d flung himself equally as enthusiastically over Rhodes.

Rhodes gave the over-exaggerated fake snore of fakers everywhere, but Tony was too drunk to register the fakeness. “ _Nobody will sing with me_!” he wailed, disconsolately, and flung himself back at Bucky to bury his face in Bucky’s shoulder with a huge gasping sob that was as equally fake as Rhodes’ snore had been.

“Tell you what,” Bucky said, patting Tony on the shoulder both in an attempt at comfort and to prise Tony off of him. “We’ll all go home, and then we’ll _all_ sing with you, okay?”

“I want to sing _now_ ,” Tony protested, lifting his head to pout at Bucky.

“But people are staring,” Bucky informed him in a low voice. “You hate people staring at you.” And, unfortunately, Tony Stark was famous enough – or his family were, at least – that people were _always_ staring at him.

Like right now, for instance, Bucky could see at least three camera phones being pointed relatively discreetly in their direction.

Tony pouted even harder. Then he appeared to have an idea and lit up again. “Activate the Avalon Protocol!” he declared, gesturing wildly and almost smacking Steve in the face. Steve didn’t even flinch.

Bucky frowned at his boyfriend. “I’m not sure I want to know, but what’s the Avalon Protocol?” he asked.

Rhodes abruptly sat up as though someone had poked him in the spine with a cattle prod. He, too, frowned at Tony. “No,” he said, firmly, pointing a finger in Tony’s face. “The Avalon Protocol doesn’t count when it’s karaoke!”

“And what _is_ the Avalon Protocol?” Bucky repeated, turning his frown on Rhodes. He could already feel a headache forming behind his eyes.

“Avalon. King ‘alfer. Knights,” said Sam, dreamily, causing Bucky to startle. He’d forgotten that Sam was even there. Then Sam’s slurred words caught him with him, and he frowned even harder.

Rhodes turned his pointing finger on Sam. “ _No_ ,” he said, equally firmly as before, as if Sam were a misbehaving dog. “No Avalon Protocol. No-one is dying, for God’s sake!”

_Dying?_ Bucky blinked, then glanced at where Tony was now slumped against him, eyes half closed and clearly halfway to unconscious. _Maybe when he has to get up for class tomorrow_ , he reflected, and wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist to catch him if he actually fell asleep standing up.

He waved a hand in front of Rhodes’ eyes to get the other man’s attention. “Just what is the Avalon Protocol?” he asked, wondering if he’d ever get a straight answer. Or even a crooked one.

“It was a thing, mentioned in this one book.” Rhodes waved a hand in a circular gesture in the air. “Tony read it once. If one of King Arthur’s knights fell in battle, then a squire would put on his armour and keep on fighting in his name, so that people wouldn’t know that their champion had died.”

“Yeah, no.” Bucky shook his head. “Definitely not applying to karaoke.” He glanced at Tony again, whose gaze was now so glassy that Bucky was convinced Tony had actually fallen into unconsciousness but just hadn’t closed his eyes yet. “Come on,” he urged, using his free hand to tug at Steve’s arm until his friend lurched up onto his feet. “I’m calling time.”

“Time?” murmured Sam. He was blinking oddly, with one eye sometimes going faster than the other. Bucky peered closer at him, wondering if there’d been something else other than booze being consumed.

“Time to go home,” said Bucky, firmly. “We have classes tomorrow.”

Steve half-collapsed onto Bucky’s other shoulder. “’m classy enough already,” he protested in Bucky’s ear.

Rhodes rolled his eyes as he stood up. He didn’t look as though he’d even had _anything_ to drink, and he managed to pull Sam up without either of them toppling back over again.

“Tab?” Bucky wondered. If he had to dig his wallet out, the three of them were going to fall over, and he wasn’t friendly enough with Rhodes to let _him_ go digging in Bucky’s pants pocket.

Rhodes, thankfully, shook his head. “On Tony’s card,” he said.

It took much more effort than Bucky – or any of the bar’s other patrons – was happy with to get outside with a half-comatose Steve and Tony without sending all the furniture, drinks and people in their path flying. Rhodes had it both better and worse; he only had to deal with Sam, but Sam was still half awake and was much more interested in every little thing that caught his eye, making abrupt lunges to get to them.

“Christ, where the hell are Nat and Bruce when you need them?” Bucky grumbled as they finally reached the sidewalk. As the door swung shut behind them, he caught sight of the bartender heaving a huge sigh of relief. Bucky vaguely envied him; _he_ didn’t have to deal with his drunk moronic friends anymore.

“They had to go rescue Clint from a dumpster,” said Rhodes.

Bucky opened his mouth. “Why—?” Considered just who he was asking about and closed it again. He shook his head. “Yeah, never mind. I don’t want to know.”

“Plausible deniability,” said Rhodes, wisely.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “We’ll never get them home with just the two of us if we walk it,” he said. “Where’s Tony’s car?” He knew his boyfriend would have arranged for one to be available to collect them. It was a minor perk of being friends with a rich guy – never having to worry about getting drunk people home.

Tony himself mumbled something, and wrapped his arms back around Bucky’s neck, snuggling his head into the crook of Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky couldn’t help himself; he dropped a kiss onto Tony’s forehead as a reward for being so sweet.

Of course, Tony then went and ruined it by apparently thinking Bucky’s lips were a bug, and swatting at his face. Bucky sighed in exasperation.

Rhodes was trying to stifle a bout of giggles, and failing miserably. “Come on,” he managed between sniggers. “Should be round this corner.”

It was. Thank everything that might ever be considered holy by anyone.

With Tony’s driver lending a hand, it was much easier to pour Sam and Steve into the car while Bucky continued holding up Tony, who seemed to be waking up again in the cold air.

“Why, _why, WHHHYYY-YYYY-YYYY, Delilah_!” he suddenly yodelled, and Bucky cringed away from the abrupt noise right in his ear. Tony stabbed a finger at Bucky’s chest and missed by a mile. “Av-Afa-Avalone Pro-Protol-Protocol,” he insisted.

Rhodes grinned from the safety of the car interior. “Better do it, man,” he suggested. “You’ll never get him in here otherwise.”

Bucky groaned, but Tony was still attempting to poke him. He huffed. “My, my, my, Delilah,” he said, flatly.

Tony threw his hands in the air and whooped with drunken joy, before abruptly diving into the car. Rhodes grunted in protest, all his air driven out of him.

“Not cool, man,” he complained.

Tony’s only response was a loud, drunken snore.


End file.
